I tell ya, I can't think of any other weight loss effort in my life where so much has got to be figured out. It's mind-boggling. Yesterday ended up being a fast I didn't put a single bite in my mouth. I think I was in such disbelief of the scale yesterday, I just couldn't bring myself to eat and as the day went on, I found I really wasn't hungry. Around 8 p.m, I felt a little bit of hunger creeping up, but at that point I was like, why bother. So anyways, this morning, I got up with a headache. I got on the scale and it read 191.2, so I lost a few of those pounds. Thank goodness. I just couldn't stand the fact of being sooooo close to 200. I never ever want to look at the scale again and see 2xx staring back at me. 194 was just waaaayyyy to close for my comfort.So far today has been interesting. The problem is I don't know exactly how to proceed. I have read the Atkins 72 book, but then when I go online I read stuff a little different from people that had success with this version. I also pulled up my old KK journal and found that cheese, mayo and hamburger seemed to stall me. So I have that floating around in my mind. I think I am in panic mode right now which is dangerous and scary for me. I feel like I am going back to that old KK thinking where I have a fear of food. But right now, I am feeling that is rightly so. If I don't have a fear of food, will I balloon up even more?
Like the Atkins 72 version says, any hard cheese, but when I read the forum they said certain cheeses like the cheese wrapped in wax. I don't really know. I just know I have a whole lot of cheese here right now that I bought when following the newer version and not sure what to do with all of it. I am pretty much going to steer clear of American cheese slices. I just want to succeed. It really felt bad yesterday to realize that I really haven't had much success since ending the horrible KK plan. Will I ever get to goal? Should I give up on Low carbing? Losing weight shouldn't be this much of a battle. I understand maintaining being tough, but losing the weight? Why so much to figure out? Why so hard to find the answers? Why so easy to gain it all back?
From the mere fact that I gained 7 pounds in 3 days just tells me that I need to either do this or not. Going back and forth is getting me nowhere. I need to follow a plan that I feel that I can follow for life. I've really got to figure it all out. As of right now, I am feeling that unless this month just turns out to be awesome, I may abandon LC once and for all after I come back from my trip. May 30th will be 1 full year that I have devoted to low carbing and I still haven't reached goal. I truly feel that if I had devoted a year to WW, I may be at goal today. May have taken longer in the long run, but hopefully I would have developed better eating habits and not doing this roller coaster thing that always seems to happen with low carbing. It's too early to tell, but I am just doubtful that I want to low carb my whole life. I like to go out with my family and enjoy myself. Like tonight is supposed to be family night, but since I am eating low carb, we can't really go to a family place like Chucky Cheese or anything, because I can't eat that. I know it is what I make it, but unless I can figure out for sure how to apply this lifestyle to the entire family, it just doesn't work for me and I am not going to force it anymore.
Between now and the 30th, I would like to lose 19 lbs. Well, I guess it isn't 19 anymore since I lost a few. Now I need to lose 16 pounds I believe. So I think that if I am strict with myself, it is certainly possible. I am not afraid of putting in the hard work to achieve my goal, I just want to feel like it is achievable and that I can stay that way once I get there. I know that I have to make a committment and make it a lifestyle change. The problem is I am not so sure that low carb is the lifestyle change that I want.
